International Association of Business Communications

In this light-hearted blog series, IABC UK Board members provide commentary on the leadership and communication skills apparent – or not apparent – each week on the UK series of The Apprentice, hosted by Alan Sugar.

The first week of the series is always slightly odd, with 18 candidates each trying to make an individual impact.

“I want the cars, I want the girls”

One of the things communicators often recommend is that a leader needs to have a vision. However, a terrible vision is possibly worse than no vision at all.

Exhibit 1: two of the ‘vision’ statements from this year’s crop of candidates:

– “I want the cars, I want the girls, but most of all I want the power.”

– “Every morning I wake up with a surge of adrenaline around my body because I want to be a global phenomenon.”

Ridiculous. On the other hand, we also had this:

“The Trailblazer is a fully managed and implemented business growth campaign that starts with a focused base camp to remove the clouds from our clients’ business growth mountain so they clearly can see the summit we are aiming for.”

Lord Sugar’s response to this? The usual, straight-talking: “What a load of bollocks!”

The best vision is, of course, somewhere between these extremes.

Throw yourself into the thought pond

Of course before even creating a vision, your organization needs a name:

“Can I throw my thought into the thought pond and suggest that we call ourselves the Sugarbabes?”

Sorry: you just killed the fish. It won’t surprise you to hear this came from the mouth of the candidate who got kicked out this week.

Now, you have a name and a vision, so you will need a leader.

What credentials do you look for in a leader for a task that is food-related? Witness this exchange:

Candidate A: “Has anyone got any experience in food?”

Candidate B: “I do have some knowledge about food. I cook. And I’m intolerant to loads of food.”